On parenthood

If you know me then you know how comic i could be. I can make fun of almost anything, even of the things about Sam - you know, about me not being his real father and all (i mean, look at the looks!) and it's funny. When he got pneumonia last time, no matter how worried i really got, when i see Sam i feel good and optimistic, and i can still make funny jokes. Partly because he's such a really cute baby (sorry fo being too proud, but for those who haven't seen him, you're missing something. :p ), but mostly because i sort of made a pact with myself to be always like child-like. Be funny. be funny, and be funny. And it has really helped me in a big, albeit subtle way.

Then it happens. I don't know what gave. Maybe it's the forever increasing total amount of time that i've been a father, maybe it's the tiring sight of our son in the hospital bed. I don't know. It just happened. This morning when Sam got into my mind i felt pain. and sadness. Suddenly i can't be funny anymore, even if i try to. Suddenly the "sana ako na lang" phrase speaks for the deepest sentiments of my heart. Suddenly i ask why he's there and not at home, playing, sleeping sound and enjoying a helluva time of his babyhood. Suddenly i felt like crying cried.

I pray that Sam gets well, soon. I pray that he suffers no more. I pray that I would soon see him playing happily with his "funny" papa, and I pray that through all these times God carries him and heals him. And this time I pray for everyone, specially for you guys who have prayed, and have been praying for us. I feel really touched and blessed for the support, i want to give back the favor. Whatever it is that's holding you down at this moment, whatever fears, whatever doubts, whatever pain that you're feeling, I pray that God holds you and give you strength and see you through it. He would.